Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

The more shit you put up with, the more shit you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would Captain Kirk handle this?"

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.