My unfortunate condition told me there was NO WAY I could linger in a check-out line and that I needed to vacate the premises before there was more than just gas in the aisles.

Being in the back of the store at this moment of sheer panick, the escape route took me directly past the Meat Dept. The sausage section was being re-stocked be a meat department employee. As I shuffled by him another "letter from a turd" fart spewed from my butt hole and covered him with a smell so rancid and thick that one wouldn't believe it could possibly come from a human.

I turned and looked back just in time to see him pick up one of the summer sausages and hold it to his nose for a test sniff. Evidently when the odor hit him he thought he was stocking rotten meat.