I have a regular appointment every Thursday right after work. It's their busiest time, but with a regular appointment I get to breeze right in and out without waiting.

Recently, we went out to a sushi bar for lunch to celebrate a fellow employee's birthday. By the time I got to the tanning salon, I wasn't feeling very well. I'm sure some of the sushi was not so fresh. I get into the tanning bed, which is like a big tube that wraps around you, and a fan blows air from one end, where your feet are, through the tube, towards your head like a mini wind-tunnel. The bed gets really warm, so the air blown through the tube gets warm, too. This day, it was getting downright hot.

I just wasn't thinking, and let go of a medium sized fart. I was able to keep it fairly silent, much to my relief, but little did I know what punishment I was setting myself up for. The fan at my feet quickly blew the fart right into my face. There may be no smell worse than a bad sushi fart, and the LAST place you want to learn that painful lesson is in a small, enclosed area, like a sun bed!

A few minutes later, I was feeling worse. Reluctantly, I held my breath and squeezed out a few more farts, using the face towel to muffle the sound. Again, I was able to keep them quiet, and when the but shut uff signaling that my session was done, I thought the horror was over. It wasn't.

As I got dressed, I sensed something was wrong. Instead of the chatter of people in the lobby and other bed areas, there was silence. Had there been a fire alarm or something that I didn't hear? I finished dressing and stepped outside, to see a dozen people looking right at me with towels held over their nose and mouth. Apparently, the my stench had completely filled the room, thanks to the ventilation system and all of those tanning bed fans, and the source had been identified – ME!