We were called into a fairly small but traditionally adorned courtroom for jury selection, with wood on all of the walls, wooden chairs, the whole bit. Were were each given the usual questions, introducing ourselves one by one, going down the line as we were seated in the jury box. When it came my turn, I suddenly had to burp, so I stayed silent for a second, hoping it would pass. All eyes were on me, waiting to hear me speak.

Suddenly, a huge fart comes CAREENING out of my butt, before I could stop it, echoing loudly throughout the courtroom, amplified by my wooden oak chair!!!

I turned red, gave a fake name, and was the first person dismissed by the panel. I went home immediately, without even completing my jury duty!

(name withheld upon request), San Francisco, CA