It gets a little old, ya know?

People blame animals for everything. If you're sitting around the house with the family, and someone farts, what do they do? Look around for a pet, of course, and blame the pet! In a way, I can understand that. If you cut a really bad one, someone has to take the blame, right?

Enter into this picture the vegans. In cause you've not yet had the experience of encountering one, vegans are vegetarians who have had one carrot too many. They're militant offshoot, preaching that it's wrong to eat anything that looks like meat, tastes like meat, is shaped like meat, has touched meat, or came from meat. And they really hate cows, for no apparent reason.

What does this have to do with farting? Their latest "beef", if you'll pardon the pun, is that cows are contributing to the destruction of the earth because they fart too much, depleting the ozone layer by unloading large quantities of methane, the active ingredient in flatulence.

Let's think about this for a moment. There are lots of things that can be blamed for environmental destruction -- cars, factories, Spam... but farting cows?

I don't know about you, but I haven't exactly heard a whole lot of noise when I've seen cows grazing. Maybe they specialize in SBD's (Silent But Deadly), but why would that be? Cows eat grass. Green grass. It's a vegetable. Vegans eat vegetables. Isn't it more likely that it's the vegans who are farting too much, and pointing the finger to the defenseless cows?

Don't let the vegans get to you. Point the finger back.

And cut a very nice fart when you do.

--- Vapors the Cat