Web www.ifarted.com

Dear IFarted.com,

My Dad (believe it or not. hehehe) was looking at farting sites the
other day, so I decided to do the same thing. I found your site, and I
think it's hilarious. I wrote a poem about farts...

I like to pass gas,
Outta my ass,
I am thinking "Yay",
When people run away,
I like to fart.
Farts are cool they smell like poo,
The Amish are good at it, too,
It makes my whole house smell,
When I go pell-mell,
Sometimes it hurts my ass,
When I pass the gas,
My cousin is cool,
He has a great tool,
He talks to someone for a while,
Then farts while they speak their reply,
Then he walks away,
To keep the fart at bay.
I like to fart.

Hehehehehehehe kinda made it up on the fly, but it's cool. Hehehe.

bsheils@nonline.net
Dear IFarted.com,

I find your page quite amusing.  However, you have made one
serious omission...that of the game of "fart ball".  While working in the
sales force of a large corporation we were under extreme pressure to
perform.  With all this pressure, came the need to have outlets for
"release".  Of course, we had the usual partying, drinking, etc. afterhours,
but one thing we could do during the day, at work, was play fartball.  

The rules were quite simple.  Whoever makes the first
audible fart has the ball.  Each subsequent audible fart by that person
earns a point, until someone takes the ball with another audible fart.  You
play until someone has 21 points and then start over.  Having excellent
sphincter control is a real asset in this game!

I suggest you add a section to your page and solicit input
from others who have invented fart games.

Thanx for the laughs!
- Greg

Thank you for the excellent suggestion! Any other 'gamers' out there??


Dear IFarted.com,

Please feel free to add my fart rap/song to your page.  
Please give credit where credit is due though.  Credit
goes to Creasy Silo.

Iww, you Fot-ted
----------------
Iww, you fot-ted, I heard it, don't lie
Iww, you fot-ted, it smelled, like my:
rotten egg and a piece of toast
ham and peanut butter and a big fat roast
matzoh meal and spoiled veal
sugar coated candy and lobster tail
corn on the cob, beans in the can
Light and Lively ice cream and Hungry Man
Vi-enna Fingers, Lipton Iced Tea and a pound or more of
 spoiled meat
tasty cakes made by Drakes, Frosted Flakes, Lipton's 
Cup O' Noodles and Sizzler's steaks
Naucho cheese, spinach leaves, and green peas,
Spam in the can and Hot Tamales.
Creasy
creasysilo@altavista.net.
We particularly liked this when sung to the tune
of "Silent Night"!

Dear IFarted.com,
I just came upon this site and i think it's a hoot.
But I really love the cat "rocky" or "vapors". I
have a cat by the name of "rambo" and he could be this cats twin.
If the spot on your cats nose wasn't there i would be my cat.
Also it's funny but you know "rocky" and "rambo" were played by
the same actor in 2 different movies.
just thought that was cool.
love the site.
later.
whtghost.
whtghost@gte.net

Dear Rocky,
you're one hot looking tom! you make me drool and you make me yowl.
sometimes you even make me fart. can i bear your kitties? if that's a no
go, could you please forward me a signed psycho cat photo instead. i'd like
to print it and hang it up. then  i could walk by and rub myself
shamelessly against your likeness.
your number one fan,
kitty
4-ever 100true.
xtine@idirect.com

Dear kitty,
Let's exchange Y2K bugs, baby!
--- Rocky@IFarted.com


Dear Rocky,
You're awsome rocky.  My question is simple.  Why doesn't your "trainer" want to
be seen on the web.  On your pictures her face is blocked out. 
s2thpic@yahoo.com

Dear s2,
There are enough pictures of humans on the web already. I don't need to
share the spotlight with humans; I AM the star here!
--- Rocky@IFarted.com


Dear IFarted.com Management:
I really like that cat you have as a model.  He is
really cute!  I hope that he was not abused for these
pictures.  I also hope that Vapors is not his real name!
Does he have an e-mail address or web page of his own?
Haley, St. Petersburg, FL

Dear Haley,
No cat was harmed during the photography sessions for
IFarted.com.  Our model's real name is Rocky, and you
can find out more about him on his web page here
at IFarted.com.
--- Webmaster@IFarted.com

Dear IFarted:
How did the idea for this web site come to you?  Don't you have a job?
James, Santa Barbara, CA

Dear James,
I was just sitting there, thinking about what kind of web site would be
fun to build as I ate my greasy nachos with lots of cheeses and... well...
let's just say that I was 'inspired'!  I think a lot of other people
were inspired too, because lots of people suddenly left the grill too.
--- Vapors

Do you have a question or comment? Write us at WebMaster@IFarted.com!   We would love to hear from you!